They Gave Her a Kimono

By: Terri Nii

The UMJ Volume 2.3

It had been several months since I had attended a meeting of this international association of business professionals, and when my schedule permitted me to go again I looked forward to seeing some of the people I had met before, if not to the program planned for the meeting.

The speaker for that particular meeting, a woman from Australia who had recently been posted in Tokyo to launch an office for a US-based firm, was scheduled to talk on the topic of the cultural gap between Japanese and non-Japanese in the workplace and how we all can help to bridge the barrier.

Frankly speaking, having lived in Japan over 13 years, I doubted whether I would gain anything from a discussion on cross-cultural issues relating to living in Japan, but the evening proved to be both enlightening and disappointing, each in unexpected ways.

Tracing over the speaker's experiences first as an exchange student at a high school in northern Japan, then describing her current perspective as the manager of the Japanese office charged with formulating and implementing a strategy to achieve the objective of establishing a presence in the Japanese market for this international firm, the speech's chronology showed how each step led to the next in terms of both time and the speaker's level of understanding. She talked about lessons learnt in various situations and ways in which there has been a mutual influence between herself and fellow Japanese students and neighbors in her student days and Japanese professionals in her current role in business.

She shared some anecdotes about her family life here, among them that her husband, who suspended his career for his wife's transfer to Tokyo, is now the primary "at home" parent for their two children. She also delineated expectations met and unmet, and the behaviors that she required of herself as a visitor and of her Japanese hosts. She used the first letters of these "Required Behaviors" to form the word, "BRIDGE" and commits herself to practicing an approach of acceptance, exchange, and to attaining the goal of increased understanding in personal and professional relations.

Her speech, flowing from the introduction, to her student perspective, and then moving on to her current perspective as a businesswoman, included learning experiences and disappointments together with triumphs and successes along the way, and concluded with recommended approaches for resolutions of her own as well as others' potential miscommunication. In the descriptions of interactions both positive and negative, the speaker's tone was considerate and respectful. Her discourse was positive, productive, and elegant and the audience was captivated and delighted by both style and contents.

So if not the speaker or speech, what was disappointing?

After the conclusion of the hour-long presentation and a period of questions from the audience, the speaker was presented with an object of appreciation for her non-paid appearance. This business group, having just been given a professional speech by an executive, presented the speaker with a kimono. And told her to put it on.

I was astonished.

Gentlemen and Ladies, this is not a homestay. The gift of a kimono, while certainly appropriate to a high school exchange student from Australia, is not suitable for a professional woman responsible for the initiation of a new enterprise in Tokyo.

I wonder how the speaker felt after being given the kimono. She was certainly too gracious to show any emotion other than pleasure and gratitude for the gift, but when she went home, how did she talk about the event with her husband?

By the time I myself got home, I was steaming. "They gave her a kimono!" I exclaimed to my husband who didn't have any idea what meeting I had attended. After hearing the story, Kazuo cited other examples of inappropriate actions and unfitting decisions unresponsive to the situations to which they are applied. Further, we have been reminded of the "kimono incident" by other policies and reactions similarly unprogressive.

Was the kimono given to put this professional woman in her place as a woman or as a foreigner? I still don't know; maybe both. Or perhaps "no harm was meant," and the gift was either the standard present to a foreign woman, or the result of a poorly considered solution to the problem of how to acknowledge the speaker's contribution.

I wonder what they give to female Japanese speakers? Male Japanese speakers? Male non-Japanese speakers?

In my view, presenting a professional speaker with an item useful in his/her professional life would be preferable. A special or designer pen, a subscription to a Japanese business journal, or an office implement; if a decision could not be reached, gift certificates for books, for use at department stores, or travel certificates would be acceptable.

Alternatively, if a Japanese "flavor" were required, greeting cards or post cards with Japanese scenes, a collection of the newest postal stamp sets, or a photo album for the speaker's pictures would be useful.

In an international business seminar setting, the offering of a present that matched the user's role in business is most appropriate. To personalize the gift, perhaps a representative of the organization could make inquiries as to the interests and maybe even the preference of the speaker apropos the group's commonly given expressions of appreciation.

If Japan wants to update the country's image as the country of "Fujisan" "Samurai" and "Geisha," then the Japanese people have the responsibility to portray it in more modern terms. Effective communication is dependent on both roles: that of the speaker and that of the listener. If the speaker does not satisfactorily elucidate the message, then the listener cannot be faulted for inaccurate understanding.

Further, in this age of increased commercial inter-dependence, we in Japan are going to have to catch up quickly with those countries who hire the best person for the job, whether that individual be male or female, native or foreign. Ability should be valued above gender or national origin.

Put simply, the right person in the right place is good.

Although they may not have consciously chosen to be so, people like this woman are the pioneers challenging traditional roles who will help to change traditional thought in Japan. I think we all will benefit.

In spite of my admiration for these forerunners, I must admit that I haven't returned to a meeting of this group. I realize that without cooperation and exchange, improvement and increased understanding are unlikely, but I haven't been able to bring myself to make the effort or chance the frustration. By any chance is anyone interested in making a speech to them? Be happy to submit your name.

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