This winter has been a rough one for most residents of Japan and it is in times of crisis that the native and foreign issues fade away. It becomes a situation where everyone must do his best to help out and work together for the common good of the community. It is also in these times of crisis that one's true character is revealed. There are those who do more than their share and those who talk too much and do only the bare minimum required to save face. This is true anywhere.

Through Christmas, the New Year holidays and on through the heavy snows, it has been a time of personal growth for me. This seems to be the year that requires me to enter a new phase of adulthood in Japan, my now legally permanent home. In December, my grandmother became 100 years old. She set that as her final goal and reached it with dignity and all her senses. I was not there to share in the celebration but I did see her last year and she beat me at cards and Scrabble as she always has. She was an educated, self-controlled woman of the harsh prairies in the U.S.A. I believe that any inner strength I possess is a direct result of the strong-willed women who have come before me and set an example of endurance. I could not survive here without these people. She died in January before the first snow and I felt her deep within me as I shoveled every heavy load. I must set an example for those who come after me. My husband was not here for the week due to work and it was difficult to hold on.

With the next two storms came the worst snow. We received 80cm here in Fujino. My husband was here for the last as it was a national holiday. The neighbors worked for 4-5 hours straight and the children loaded snow on sleds to dump down the slope. Someone made amazake (sweet rice drink) to warm us. The electricity went out twice and it made us remember the victims of Kobe's earthquake and how it happened in January. Again the snow allowed us to contemplate what we are usually too busy to remember.

I thought the worst was out of the way when I realized that my cat of nine years who was I believe my beloved child and friend was to die of kidney failure. This was unexpected and I had to be strong and teach my children about death in a way as to make them unafraid. They were with me the whole time and saw her agony and her will to survive. The doctor was so kind as to let them observe everything and show their love. I told her how much I appreciated her over the years for being there for me when I was a fledgling foreign wife and alone so much of the time as Japanese companies require so much of a man's time. She and I went on trips to my husband's home town for months and rode on airplanes, Shinkansens, ferries, cars and taxis. She met and slept with many of my relatives and taught my oldest child how to crawl.

Actually, she was in the room with me when I gave birth to my son at home and she told me when he cried. She taught my daughter to respect animals and earn their trust. She was always their older sister.

When I hear people say that it is too sad to keep a pet because they die, I feel yes it is easier to never love at all and never have pain. But my heart is full now with the rich memories of those animals and people who have guided me and allowed me to love them and find the beauty in life.